thirty days with a grateful heart - day twenty one

day twenty one - the examined life

Socrates once said that 'The unexamined life is not worth living.'  So, in honor of tuesday, toeday, as well as day twenty one of my gratitude project, I would like to share with you just why I am grateful for... therapy.

10.  As we all know, I am a thinker.  Ok, let's be honest here, I am an overthinker.  Periodically, I will use this blog to quiet some of the ideas that are swirling around in my head making all kindsa racket, but once in awhile there is something I need to talk about that even I realize might just not be all that appropriate for the blog.  Incredible, I know, considering I've discussed just about everything you can possibly imagine here including some things that I probably should not have - but well, it is true. 

9.  Therapy is teaching me that that point in and of itself is ok.  I can talk about what I need to talk about and if people judge, they judge.  I used to be worried all the time about hurting people's feelings and possibly saying something that might affect their perception of me or make them think that I might actually be judging them, but the truth is - I think people should be happy, whatever that means for them - so, as long as I use gentleness and respect in my opinions, we should all be good.

8.  It is sinking in.  Slowly.  And I am changing.  Slowly. 

7.  One of the things we have been talking about the last few weeks is very interesting.  In fact, it is so interesting that I wish I could tell you about it, but suffice it to say - its really, really interesting.  And all that interestingness aside, I believe I might be actually learning something and well, that's the point, right?

6.  One of the comforting things about this interesting (kinda secret) topic is that even though my therapist is a man, he is willing to see my perspective.  Not that he necessarily agrees with me, mind you, but he hears what I am saying and he validates my feelings.  Insert big sigh of relief here.  I mean, really.  Having a man look at you and not say, I think you might be just a little bit (insert whatever adjective you want) crazy, is well, like I said before - comforting.

5.  My therapist is nice.  He was referred by a friend I respect and he is just, well, really nice.  And, surprisingly, he is the first therapist that has ever asked me to analyze my family history and dynamics.  In fact, the other day, we were discussing my parent's perceptions of me as a child and I realized something that in all the therapy I've done before, I've never realized. 

4.  It was like... huge.  Believe me on this one.

3.  I meet with my therapist on Monday afternoons.  The first couple of weeks, I actually took a shower and washed my hair before going because I wanted him to see that I was taking the process seriously.  After a few weeks, however, I got comfortable with him (and his dog, Suzette, who likes to sit in my lap periodically) and began showing up as the real momo.  You know, the one that wears workout clothes albeit lululemon all day?  What a relief that was!  You know, to actually be me - not the me I thought he'd want to see? 

2.   Back in November or whenever it was, prior to the gratitude project, when I wrote my happy, happy, happy blog post, I was not really happy, happy, happy.   I was actually as far from happy as I could have been.  I cannot talk about why exactly, but I was.  Again, trust me.  If we are being honest, I was probably more like mad, MAD, (insert even more adjectives) MAD.  However, today, after a few months of therapy, I can honestly say that I am well on my way to that happy, happy, happy place and it is light years from where I was before therapy.

1.  The view from here is pretty nice.