I have a difficult time saying no.
I googled people pleaser the other day and found this... the 52 traits of a chronic people pleaser.
It was an eye opener for sure, and I read through the fifty two traits, my subconscious saying, check. check. check.
And although I have known this about myself forever, I've never allowed myself to wonder... why.
Is it as number forty suggests, I trying to control everything? Or, number 32, would I rather be nice than real? What about three - am I constantly afraid to hurt other people's feelings? Or number forty-seven, do I feel guilty when I cannot accomplish everything or make everyone happy?
Well, yes.
Yes.
To all of it.
And how ridiculous, really.
Because I find that the more I say yes, the less I am actually accomplishing. Nothing gets done... properly. I procrastinate, I feel taken advantage of, even though it was me that made the promise in the first place, and the work that eventually is produced never quite measures up to level that I expect of myself.
Saying yes when I really need to say no is unfair. To me, but even more so to the person or people that I am saying yes to in the first place.
So, I would like you to know, I've been practicing.
Yes, I have been practicing... saying no.
And it is harder than it sounds.
Way harder.
Because some of the things I have said no to, I have really wanted. Or I could have been really good at. But rather than rushing headlong into yes, I am trying to take a step back. Analyzing my why. Analyzing my ability. Analyzing my time availability. And in the process, realizing historically that my want to dos have always outweighed my should be doings.
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