three hundred words a day. april 4.

Just recently, I've begun reading Mere Christianity, a book adapted from a series of talks on BBC radio by C.S. Lewis in the 1940s. I have to confess, I have owned my copy of MC easily ten years and it has been sitting on my bookshelf catching dust since then. I am not sure why I didn't read it then and I cannot say for sure what prompted me to pull it down this week, but in any event, I have begun reading.

I would imagine C.S. Lewis is best known for the Chronicles of Narnia, and I am sure that many people are unaware that most of his works, including the Narnia books, deal with Christian themes. Even more incredible after reading a little about Lewis is that for awhile, he considered himself to be an atheist, and yet now he is regarded as one of the most influential Christian apologists of his time.

Atheist: a person who denies the existence of a supreme being.
Apologist: a person who makes a defense in speech or writing of a belief, idea.

I love this.

I love it for so many more reasons than three hundred words will allow me to express but at the very least, I think about where Lewis must have been emotionally and intellectually in order to publicly deny the very existence of God. And then I realize I can relate, how many times have I been so low, so hurt, so proud, that I too, wondered if God existed?

There have been times. Times when the future was so bleak or I was so filled with sadness that even though deep down I knew He existed, seeing past the grief to the love on the other side seemed like an impossible task. And yet, I don't know that I ever voiced that fear to anyone, and never ever wrote about it, or for that matter, was published.

And so I marvel at the sort of divine intervention that must have occurred in Lewis' life to change his beliefs so profoundly. I am awed at the metamorphosis, the total and complete one hundred eighty degree change. For some reason, it fills me with hope. Hope for the future, for my future, and if nothing else, it makes me beyond anxious to read more.

Although, I am realizing that my key to truly absorbing Mere Christianity is going to require some focus and it is probably not going to be one of those books I read in an afternoon. But what is it they always say about the best things taking time? This feels like one of them. 

I'll let you all know how it goes. 

xxo.