thirty days with a grateful heart. day eleven.

day eleven.  wednesday girls.

A few months ago, I started meeting a few sweet girls on Wednesday mornings to run the trails by my house. 

Initially it was simply because my girl, Jill, wanted to learn to trail run.

Although now it has become somewhat of a lifeline for me.  A safe place with just one non-negotiable ground rule - what is said on the trail stays on the trail. 

It is funny how I can spend years trying to build friendships with people, trying to connect in some meaningful and important way, but then I get out with them on the road or on the trail, where we have nothing to prove and all the time in the world, and suddenly they are simply... part of me.

I've had a few of them over the years.  My runner girls.  Women with whom I have shared miles and miles of joys as well as great sorrows with.  And even though we may not be running at all together now - they are as much a part of my soul as running itself. 

I am grateful for the time I had with those girls then. Just as I am grateful for my time with my Wednesday girls now.

And even more grateful that my Wednesday girls became Sunday girls and spent some time with some wine and me yesterday. 

Truly, truly grateful.

xoxo,
momo

thirty days with a grateful heart - day twenty three

day twenty three - your take

Mostly on this blog, when I write, you are going to get my viewpoint on things.  Not because I don't realize that there are other viewpoints out there, because I do, honestly, I do. 

But, well, this is my blog, right?  So, yea, pretty much if you choose to read, you are going to be subjected to my viewpoint ninety-nine point nine percent of the time.

Sometimes, though, after I write and after I post, you will comment.  And periodically your viewpoint is somewhat different than mine.  And periodically your viewpoint is considerably different than mine.  But always, your viewpoints give me pause.  Because I do read them, sometimes more than once, and I do deliberate on them, sometimes probably more than I should. 

Regardless, they allow me step back for a second and see the world from your perspective. 

It is eye opening.  And kind of scary sometimes how I can tend to be somewhat single minded.  But refreshing at the same time, to be assured that we are not all cookie cutter versions of one another.

And that makes me pretty happy.  And even more willing to continue to put myself out there like I do, because I realize I am growing.   And just maybe, you are too.

So, thank you, you commenters, you.  I am truly grateful for your take.

thirty days with a grateful heart - day twenty two

day twenty two - you get me

For Christmas this year, Big J wrote me a letter that begins like this:

... In the spirit of working to fully understand and 'get you' ...

The letter was attached to a gift that I may choose to share when it is finished at some later point, but I'd like you to know that this gift, this particular gift, it was a bit of a stretch for Big J. 

Not because Big J is a terrible gift giver, because believe me, he is quite the opposite.  Big J is, in fact, an incredibly generous and creative gift giver, to both me and to the littles.  Many times over the years, he has surprised me with how he just knows - just exactly what I would like, just exactly what I would want, just exactly what would mean something special to me. 

No, this gift was a stretch for other reasons, more personal reasons.  Prior to Christmas, no matter which words I used to explain my reasons why, they just never seemed to be the right ones.  In fact, I'm loathe to admit that we even argued about this gift.  It caused confusion.  It caused hurt feelings.  It caused tears.

And then Christmas.  And then my letter.  And then my gift.

And then my realization that as much as I might tell him that he doesn't... the truth is, Big J does - get me.  He might not always understand me, and I guess that is to be expected because I don't always understand myself, but he does, most definitely, get me.

And really, what more could I possibly want?

I'm grateful for you today, Big J.  Not for the gift.  Although, believe me, I am way excited about that!  And not for the gift you gave me last week.  Which I am just as excited about!

No, today, I am simply grateful for you.

xo,
momo

thirty days with a grateful heart - day sixteen

day sixteen - kindred souls

Yesterday, I got an email from one of my running partners, Jeff.  It was sent to me, to Steph (our third musketeer), as well as to a few other runner friends that I have made the last ten months or so since I have embraced trail running.

On Saturday, January 28, 2012 come join us for a birthday celebration run.
Who's turning 43?  Melisa Angelone
Where?  "Jody's Run" Class 5 Grade 8
Why?  Because we can, therefore we run
When? TBD 7am?
How do I get to Jody's Run, that starts at Spur Cross Ranch?
http://www.maricopa.gov/parks/spur_cross/Directions.aspx

Please let me know if you are coming so I can include you in future mass mailings. 

Jody's run is rugged and remote and about 25 miles long.  Expect to be on the trail for at least 6 hours and maybe up to 8.  Be self sufficient for the full measure of this run, there will be no aid or potable water.

We will stay together as a team.  If you choose to bolt ahead I cannot be responsible for your demise and WILL NOT return to recover your carcass, that grim task will fall upon those that loved you.

As I read through the email, I couldn't help but smile and be grateful for the people that I've met over the years that, simply put, get me.  Because, while I am certain that there are a lot of people who would think that celebrating their birthday by running twenty five or more miles in the trails, in remote and rugged surroundings, is absolutely, certifiably crazy - JJ realizes that something like this?  Well, something like this is just so right up my alley, its not even funny.

As I look back, I realize just how very blessed I have been over the years with friends and training partners who get this about me and often, who share the same trait - the desire to push ourselves, to test ourselves, to do something epic to celebrate the simple fact that we are alive, we are healthy, and that we can. 

So, today, on a day when I am contemplating getting older (and kind of feeling it just a little bit too), I am beyond grateful for those people - for the wonderful, and just a wee bit crazy, kindred souls that have shared the road, the trails, the pool, the gym and the yoga mat with me.  My life is immensely richer (and to be honest, probably just a bit saner, too) for the time we have spent together. 

much love!

thirty days with a grateful heart - day five

day five - the differences between us

When I was five, Katie Riley became my very first best friend.  We had a lot in common, Katie and me, we were both in kindergarten, we both liked Shawn Cassidy, and we both thought our younger siblings were kind of annoying.  At five, I'm fairly certain that this is precisely what brings girls together in the first place.  Well, that and, probably even more importantly, the fact that she just happened to live two doors down and that our parents liked to hang out together.

Later on, the same was true for some of my future best friends.  We tended to participate in the same sports, we had similar interests, similar beliefs.  We were in the same class, lived on the same street, rode the same bus, liked the same movies, hung out with the same crowd.  The friendships were easy, perhaps a bit shallow, but much the norm for that time in our lives.

For awhile, when I was a new mom, my friendships revolved around the littles, and were with women that had children, too.  We could relate to each other, we shared the same burdens.  There was common ground, common needs, and a sense of always being in the same, sleep-deprived, boat. 

As I have gotten older, however, as my interests have waxed and waned, as my life has evolved and my littles have grown, so too have my friendships evolved.  No longer are my friendships built solely on interest or proximity.  In fact, I have very few friends that live close and even fewer that enjoy the same activities that I enjoy. 

No, more often than not I am finding that now it is actually our differences that bring my friends and I together.  As I have gotten older, as I've become more and more comfortable in my own individuality, my willingness to learn from and share with another has been what has attracted me to these new friendships.  These friendships make life interesting.  They open new worlds to me.   They challenge me often, requiring me to be present, to use my voice, to open my heart.

Sometimes we do like some of the same things - OneRepublic or a head-clearing long run through the trails, a good glass of Pinot or that gotta-have-it stacked black pump.  But, as my mind wanders through those few, precious women that I cherish and have dared to term bff, more often than not, I realize they are (gratefully!) as different from me as, say, water and oil... black and white...

diet coke and tea. 

thirty days with a grateful heart - day one

A sweet friend of mine, after reading my post yesterday, led me to the blog of  one of her friends who, for the last few years during the month of December, has embarked on what, imho, is a truly incredible and life changing journey. 

Each year, each December, this blogger begins a series she calls 30 Days with a Grateful Heart.  For the last thirty days of the year, she takes a little time each day to reflect on what she is most grateful for in her life.  Some of these gratitudes are small.  Some are silly and fun.  Some are deeper and have incredible feeling that encompass their telling.  And yet, all of them, every single one, speak directly from her heart - a heart that has learned to be... grateful.

Along her journey, she has encouraged others to participate - to take a moment or two each day the month of December, to peek into their own lives and find something each day to be grateful for.  Some days this will be easy.  When all is going well and life is happy, happy, happy - gratitude is abundant.  But, some days it seems as if the world is conspiring against our happiness.  Some days, we might wonder what in the world we could possibly be grateful for.  I believe, even during these days, especially during these days, an endeavor like this can change us, bring us back to what we know to be true and ultimately, what is truly important.

William Arthur Ward once said that Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.  Go figure, I am a gift giver.  My primary love language, based on the book The Five Love Languages, is gifts.  I don't know if you are surprised by this, but Big J was most definitely not.  So, with that being the case, I have decided, that for the month of December, this journey will be a little gift that I give to myself.  A little thirty day Christmas present, if you will.  You are welcome to join me, and perhaps along the way you will find that my words might also be a little gift to you, as well.

day one - my blog

Since 2006, blogging has been a savior to me.  I've never been one to write in a journal, I've tried it a few times and each time, I have gotten frustrated and quit after just a few entries.  Considering that I obviously do not seem to have a problem with self reflection or introspection, I think primarily for me, it was the hand-written aspect of journaling that made me unsuccessful at it, as silly as that might sound. 

Most times, when I sit down to write on my blog, my thoughts are racing a million miles a minute and attempting to capture those thoughts long hand, well, you get the picture.  But, when I discovered blogging, all that frustration just melted away.  All of a sudden, there was a place where I could express all the feelings and emotions of my heart, in type written form.  For me to reflect on, for others to share.  A place where my fingers can almost keep up with the ideas swirling around in my head and clamoring to be let loose.

Besides allowing me to express myself, my blog has also brought me friendships that I treasure.  Friendships that I believe without a doubt I will cherish until the day I die.  Through my blog, I've met so many incredibly special people, people that enrich my life each and every day.  If I never write another word, I will ever be grateful for the simple gift of those friendships.

My blog has allowed me to grow, to cry, to laugh, to wonder, to vent, to explore, to learn, and in more ways than one, blogging has allowed me to heal.  Putting my most private thoughts into a public forum has at times, been awfully scary, but I have to tell you that in doing so, more than anything, blogging has allowed me to feel.  To feel happiness, to feel love, to feel friendship and joy and laughter and maybe even just a teensy bit of sorrow now and then.  That being able to feel proves to me, each and every day, that I am indeed, still alive, that neither my head nor my heart nor my soul, and least of all my body, are dead.  And I don't know about you, but for me - that is just about all I can hope for some days.

So, yes, my blog.  Today, and especially today, my heart is overflowingly grateful for my blog.