thirty days with a grateful heart. day seventeen.

day seventeen.  out of the mouth of babes.

There are days when I, like most parents, think my littles have to have been abducted by aliens, their actions so contrary to what I know I have spent their lifetimes trying to teach them. 

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out, I get so incredibly frustrated, wondering why, oh why do they not understand?  Why do they not see?

And just when I think I must be at the very end of my rope with them, they do something that surprises me.  That encourages me.  That gives me... hope that they will be the compassionate and loving adults I have taught them to be.

It is on days like that, on days like Christmas, when for the first time ever, my littles gave me a gift that they not only sought out, but purchased and wrapped all on their own.  And when that gift is opened, it reveals the truth.  That what I have been hoping and praying for, for them, for so many years, has become reality.

They see. 

But not only do they see, they also get... me.  Which, in my humble opinion, is more than any parent could ever hope for, don't you agree?

I am...
capable
acceptable
forgivable
valuable
lovable

I am... enough.

So grateful for their lesson today, my friends.  Merry Christmas.

xoxo,
momo

thirty days with a grateful heart. day ten.

day ten.  her heart.

This morning I had a little early morning talk with my girl.

I told her that there are people in our world that can be hurtful.  That can do harm.  We never understand why, and yet as sad as it is, it is a fact of life. 

Look around, I told her, read the news.  You will see them every single day.  And as you regard them, think about how sad they must feel inside.  How difficult that must be to carry that pain and anger around, day in and day out.  How lonely they must feel.

Then I told her that there are also people in this world who love.  Who do no harm.  Whose hearts expand more and more every single day to embrace those around, to honor them, to protect them, to love them.

You won't see many of those people in the news.  But you'll be drawn to them because that love that they share is what draws bees to honey.  It is intoxicating.  It is powerful.  It is sweet blood, my momma would say.

She is one of those rare ones, my girl.

She loves.  With everything that she is...  everything that she has.  She loves.  And as she does, she shows those around her how to feel good...  and happy...  whole.  Believe me, because I know.  She does this for me, every single day.

I am so grateful for her today.

So grateful for her love.  So grateful for her heart.  So grateful for her strength and her passion and her belief in all that is right and good in this world.

So incredibly grateful.

three hundred words a day. july 23.

I have heard it said that God gives us what we need.

I think about that statement... often.  God gives us what we need. 

It wasn't until I was past the thirty week point that I learned that Frankie was going to be a girl.  I love my boy with all my heart, but something deep down was hoping, hoping for a girl and when I heard the news, the tears I cried were of joy.

I spent hours dreaming up things we would do together, me and my sweet little girl.  My mind awhirl imagining tea parties and ballet recitals and anything, everything sweet.  I decorated her room in pink.  With roses.  I bought dress after dress after dress and the frilliest bows I could find for her hair.  She would never talk back.  She'd love only me.

God gives us what we need. 

God must have laughed a bit when he heard my wants because in His infinite wisdom, he gave me, instead, exactly what I needed. 

A baby girl who opened her mouth to be heard on the day she was born and has refused to close it since - in song, in laughter, in love.  A baby girl who refused to wear dresses or bows, or anything pink for that matter.   A baby girl who speaks her thoughts, who knows what she wants, who is not afraid to work.

A baby girl who is self-confident and strong beyond measure.  Who is kindness to her core.  Who remains so unaware of the gifts she possesses, of the genuine beauty that lies within her, that it is often breathtaking to behold.

God gave me Frankie.

To learn from.  To listen to.  To have and to hold when she lets me.  To laugh with.  To love, with all my heart up to the sky and back again, to infinity and beyond. 

God gave me her, and today, on the day I celebrate her birth, I realize just how much she is exactly what I needed.

thirty days with a grateful heart - day fifteen

day fifteen - never quit

Frankie loves to play volleyball.  It makes her happy, which in turn, makes me happier than you can even imagine.  To watch as my littles take on something and then give it their all, one hundred and ten percent - well, I think words just wouldn't do my feelings justice. 

On Saturday, her new team had the opportunity to play in a tournament that has come to be known as the 'friendship tournament'.  A nice and relaxed pre-season mixer that allows the girls to get some playing time together and gives them an chance to see how they stack up against some of the other local teams.

Frankie's team had a great day, they played a lot of volleyball and had a lot of fun together, which after the high school season she had, imho, is way more important right now than anything else.  I believe this is going to be a good growing year for all of the girls - they have a solid team, a set of really great coaches, and a good, work hard attitude - and for that I am truly thankful. 

But even after playing five games on Saturday, and after a week of non-stop team practice and three days at crossfit and all the studying for finals she put in, Frankie still wanted to keep her commitment to the private libero lesson we'd scheduled with Michelle for Sunday. 

Michelle knew that Frankie had played the whole day previously, but she still worked her out hard.  She's tough, she refuses to allow the girls to slack and the funny thing is, they don't want to.  They work hard whenever they are scheduled with her.  Frankie was tired when she was done two hours later, but she was ecstatic about how the lesson went and felt like she's really getting the hang of playing defense.

I'd like to think she gets it from me, that desire to be better, to keep improving, to do what she needs to and to never quit.  But, to be honest, I'm not really sure.  I think maybe she is simply the sum of all the really best parts of both Big J and me, minus any of the bad parts to drag her down.   Today, I'm really grateful for that.  Really, really, really grateful. 

thirty days with a grateful heart - day twelve

day twelve - book worm

I love to read.  I've loved it since I was very small.  I love being able to escape into another person's life, into another time, into another place, if only for a short little while. 

When I was growing up, we weren't allowed to own books.  My father was in the military and each time we moved, we were given a household weight allowance we were required to stay under.  Books were more of a luxury than a necessity so owning them was out of the question.  I have more than made up for that the past few years.

I remember reading Harlequin Romance after Harlequin Romance when I was about twelve.  Somebody, somewhere should have probably stopped me because somehow, I really believe this tainted my view on the reality of romance.  You mean every girl doesn't have some half naked man named Zeke (or Max or Rafe or Blaze) riding up on his white horse (or limousine or private jet or yacht) whisking her off on some passionate adventure every weekend?

In college, I got onto a Stephen King kick and read just about everything he'd written up until that point,  one of the most memorable being the short story called The Long Walk.  I am not quite sure what it was about this story that resonated with me, but it struck a chord and I have often talked about and recommended it to anyone who would listen over the years.  The last Stephen King book I read was IT.  I couldn't sleep for weeks after reading that one so I decided he and I were done.

Sometimes I will go to the library or a book store and just sit for awhile.  I like the smell.

Oprah started a book club way back when and I began to read all of her recommendations.  I enjoyed most all of them because they really allowed me to branch out a bit.  To try something new.  To read an author I might not otherwise have chosen.  The last Oprah selection I read was Anna Karenina.  And to be entirely truthful, I only got through about half of it. 

After Anna Karenina, I got into a bit of a self-help phase.  What I have realized about self-help books, however, is that they are all just variations of the same message.  I'm done with that now and onto biographies.  I want to be able to see self-help in action.

When my littles were young, I would read to them every night before they went to bed.  Their favorites were Goodnight Moon, Make Way for Ducklings and the Goodnight Gecko.   I can still recite parts of each, this many years later.  And each and every time I see a baby duck, I wonder if it is Jack, Kack, Lack, Mack, Nack, Ouack, Pack or Quack.

When Frankie was small, she hated to read.  In third grade, we learned that she needed glasses and then in fifth grade, she discovered the Twilight books and now, she is a voracious reader.  I want to complain, but just cannot bring myself to do it each time I see an email from Amazon.com thanking me for my latest Kindle book purchase.   Secretly, it makes me really happy that she shares this love of mine and when I go into her room like yesterday and see her smiling at something she's just read, I simply cannot help but smile myself.

thirty days with a grateful heart - day eight

day eight - we are team bemis

Mid-September, our Notre Dame community learned that our head football coach, Scot Bemis, had been diagnosed with cancer, and in a pretty bad way.  Immediately, the school - administration, parents and students alike - rallied around Coach Bemis and created Team Bemis to support and help Coach Bemis and his family during this time in any way that we could.

Every Monday, twice a day, all are invited to pray the rosary for Coach in the school chapel.  On Thanksgiving day, the first annual Bemis Bowl was held and teams comprised of students, alumni, friends and supporters of Coach Bemis competed against eachother to be the first winner of what will likely become an annual event.  A pancake breakfast is in the works, meals have been scheduled, prepared and delivered now for months, and thousands of dollars in donations are being received to help Coach Bemis offset the costs of his treatment.

The outpouring of love and support for Coach Bemis and his family during this time has been awesome to witness, a true testament to the goodness and generosity of our school and its faculty - but also to the incredible compassion our children are capable of, a trait I sometimes think we do not always give them credit for.

Today, Team Bemis in conjunction with Crossfit Magna put on a little friendly competition that they called 'WODS (workout of the day) for Bemis'.  The competition was open to all and promoted in the local crossfit gyms and through facebook.  All in all, sixty-one people competed today in three different divisions, and you know what?  Not many of them even knew Coach Bemis, they simply showed up today to dedicate their workouts to a man going through a really tough time.  To support him in the only way they knew how.

A special division was even created for our high schoolers to give them an opportunity to compete and to allow them to dedicate their workout to the man that has helped coached so many of them over the years.  I think I mentioned that Frankie has been doing crossfit the past month or so and when she heard about the event - without a seconds hesitation, she told me she was doing it.

Personally, crossfit has given me so much confidence and helped me develop strength I didn't even know I could possess, and now it is doing that same thing for Frankie and I couldn't be more excited for her.  Well, and maybe just a teensy big proud.  My girl took third place in the girls' high school division!  ;) 

Today, I am grateful to count myself among the crossfit community and even more so, to be able to say with certainty on behalf of Crossfit Magna, Crossfit480 and all the crossfit gyms represented today...

WE ARE TEAM BEMIS!